Critical Thinking and my new daughter

First and foremost my little baby girl was born on Dec. 18th at 11:14 am. She is as beautiful as I ever imagined. I had to choose her verse for my father's necklace and I ended up choosing Prov. 31:30: "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." I prayed for her to grow towards the Lord all her life, serving Him in all she does and bringing Him glory. I realize that as she grows it is my duty to model the husband she will one day marry. A tall order, and one I am excited about achieving.

The critical thinking part has come as the Lord has really been convicting me in my thought life. I realize daily how far I am from what He created. Given all the tools that any Christian in earlier times or in harsher areas of the world crave, my responsibility is higher. My pastor recently discussed how each of us will beheld accountable to the amount of revelation we have in our lives. In other words since I have a Bible (multiple ones), study guides, great works by great men and the amazing amount of information on the internet, I am held responsible for pursuing God with all of these tools. I cannot hide behind busyness or foolishness. I cannot begin to claim ignorance. So, I must deal with the fact that the standard for my loving the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength is far from the same as someone who barely has a Bible at all. I feel restlessness. Restlessness in a life being lived only in part for God, towards God. How am I not lukewarm and spat out of Jesus' mouth? What option do you have but to live a life with the passion for God's glory that it deserves? How much is enough? How do I marry my aggressive approach without muddling the meaning of good works? What life do I really believe glorifies God? Are there so many ways to glorify Him that I must choose the most efficient and the most glorifying? How do I do that? I cannot hide from the truth. The truth is my life is only a shadow of it's capability. Today I must chose who I shall serve... and Joshua's words are only mere repetition without the fruit of that life.