Zebulun

One thing I have noticed is with my lack of consistency it is hard to follow the thoughts from one to the next. But I will continue where I left off. I do miss Jonathan. With both watching Gabriel grow up and seeing Isabella grow inside Malia, I miss him a lot. I can be very emotional and sad when I think of how he would be running and jumping like Gabriel is now, but I know he is in a far better place and with a far better father. I also know that had he not went to be with the Lord when he did, Isabella wouldn't be my great Christmas present this year! My flesh yearns for him, but my soul leaps for joy at his current life.

Next I have Zeb. Zebulun, is my oldest. He is 11 at my writing this. He has been a joy to be around. I love his personality and I love his heart. He is smart, kind, loving, and talented. He is good at any sport he tries, the opposite of my early years. I constantly try my best to push him. I try to inspire and challenge him in all things. I know that he carries my name and that he will one day lead my family. My legacy will probably not be in monetary or physical holdings, I pray it will be seen in Zeb, and my family. If Zeb seeks, fears and honors the Lord with his life I can think of nothing greater. I know that my driving him can be tough and that sometimes I must lay off a little. But I try to make my every action and challenge for him well thought out. In order for him to be all that he can be he must be pushed to push himself. There is nothing worse than wasted potential and Zeb has potential for any endeavor. I pray for him not to succeed in anything except the calling the Lord has on his life. Like the poem says Zeb's fear in life will be of what he doesn't do with all of his capabilities, not what he can not do.

Our Greatest Fear

Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate,but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.

It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine,

we consciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear,

our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson